Just Because You Can, Doesn’t Mean You Should

It’s not Working. YOU Are. And That’s a Problem.

A few weeks ago, I was catching up with a coaching colleague of mine. I mentioned one particular thing I had taken on at work to help another department.

She stopped me.

“Wait. Why are you doing THAT?”

I explained I was just being helpful to my teammate. I saw that something needed to get done, I knew how to do it, and so I stepped in, plugged the hole, and kept things moving.

Her response was immediate:

“Jess, just because you CAN do something doesn’t mean you SHOULD.”

Ouch. That line hit hard.

Because I've always considered my versatility to be a strength.

My career has had range, to say the least. Outside counsel. In-house counsel. General Counsel. That alone would be enough.

But I’ve also led Sales and Marketing. HR, People & Performance. Been a Chief of Staff. And a COO.

These experiences have served me incredibly well, teaching me how to operate in a lot of different rooms and how to be useful to the people inside them.

Wearing too many hats ain’t a good look…

But every strength has a shadow side.

And the shadow side of being able to wear a lot of hats is believing that because you can wear them, you should.

When helpful becomes harmful

There’s a difference between helping someone succeed and compensating for the fact that they aren’t.

And that difference can be really hard to see in the moment.

When you step in, the work gets done, and the outcomes are achieved. It feels like leadership, and sometimes it is.

But sometimes you’re just a very effective Band-Aid covering a much bigger organizational wound.

When a capable leader repeatedly steps into another person’s or department’s competency gaps, the organization doesn’t get a clean signal that the gap even exists.

Instead, everything is operating under an illusion that things are working.

They’re not.

You’re working.

That’s different.

And then there’s the opportunity cost for not operating in your zone of genius. Every time you say ‘yes’ to something outside your highest-value work, you’re saying no to something else, like solving the problems only you can solve.  

And the more capable you are, the more dangerous this becomes.

Because there will always be more things you could do.

That’s why, at some point, the question for a senior leader isn’t:

“Can I help?”

It has to become:

“Is this actually mine to carry?”

The Leadership Shift

I don’t think the answer is to become less helpful (I certainly don’t want to)!

The shift is moving away from helping by ‘doing’ toward helping by ‘building capacity’ in others.

Instead of: I can take care of that.

Try: What’s keeping you from taking care of this?

Instead of: Let me jump in.

Try: What support do you need to own this?

Instead of immediately filling the gap, consider: What is this gap trying to tell us about our capacity, competencies or plans?

And before volunteering simply because you know you can, reflect: Is this the highest-value use of me right now?

That last question can be uncomfortable for people who pride themselves on servant leadership.

It can feel selfish. Uncollaborative. Maybe even a little precious.

In those moments, remember that leadership isn’t about proving how many things you’re capable of doing.

It's about helping others rise and standing behind them as they do. That's the most helpful thing I know I’ll ever do.

Bottom Line:

At some point, leadership requires enough discipline to leave some things undone by you.

Let the gap become visible. Let someone else wrestle with the problem.

Allow the organization to feel enough discomfort that it actually addresses the underlying issue.

Protect your time and attention for the work that is uniquely yours.

Sometimes the way to better is resisting the urge to save it from every problem.

Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.

To better,

— Jess