If you’re a decent leader, you’re likely recognizing your team’s wins. Thanking them for their hard work. Giving them opportunities to grow.
You’re doing all the things a good leader is supposed to do.
So why do some of your people still feel undervalued?
Because what you intend as recognition isn’t necessarily what someone else experiences as being heard, seen, or valued.
And that’s where things get tricky.
For one person, feeling valued means public praise. For another, it’s a private acknowledgment.
One person’s definition of growth means having a seat at the table. Another wants the freedom to make decisions without asking permission.
I’ve forgotten these lessons myself.
For example, I value autonomy. Trust me to get something done, give me room to operate, and I’m happy. So I’ve sometimes assumed giving others that same freedom was the ultimate expression of trust.
But what if they wanted more guidance? What if my hands-off approach felt less like confidence and more like indifference?
What’s if I’ve spooked them into thinking I don’t care?
Curiosity is a Leadership Skill.
Conscious leadership requires recognizing that our own preferences aren’t universal truths.
That doesn’t mean we all have to become mind readers. It does mean we have a duty to get curious, intentional, and vulnerable with our teammates.
When was the last time you asked someone what actually makes them feel valued? Or how they like to receive positive or constructive feedback?
Not through a survey.
Not anonymously.
Them. Specifically.
I’ve learned that good intentions don’t make good leadership.
Seeking to understand what motivates and incentivizes your teammates as individuals is the real unlock.
The Leadership Shift
Think about the people you rely on most.
Could you confidently explain what makes each of them feel genuinely valued?
If not, ask.
“What’s one thing I could do differently that would make you feel more valued or supported?”
Then listen.
Then put it into action.
People who feel valued don’t just work harder. They care more. They invest more. They give more of themselves to the work and the people around them.
And that’s a treat beyond measure.
Bottom Line:
Don’t just value your people. The trick is to treat them in a way you’re sure they will feel it. Be intentional in the way you learn how the people you lead feel seen, felt, heard, and valued.
To better,
— Jess